A Little News...

First of all, I have to say "Congrats" to one of my great friends, who gave birth to their little girl J yesterday. I am sure you will be seeing some pictures of her soon! Lady J was born 5 weeks early, but is a total champ. 6.8 lbs, and has a good set of lungs. She is expected to go home tomorrow with Mom. I am hoping to go tonight to get a quick glimpse of the sweet little lady that couldn't wait to meet her mom and dad!

On to the next topic. 8 short months ago today, as many of you know, was the start of a series of some rough days. Days that now, I know I wouldn't have lived through without God, my loving husband, and all of the friends and family that love us (many of you!). It was the day of our ultrasound for Baby T.R. The day we were supposed to find out if it was a boy or girl, a day I had been anticipating for several months.

As you know, the ultrasound was not so great, to say the least. The heart beat was there, but T.R. was only measuring a mere 14 weeks (I was 18.5 weeks), and only moved about once or twice. I now feel it was a simple blessing from God to let me see him alive and moving one last time before he passed. Emotions that I never felt started creeping in. Complete and utter sadness, and then the next day came. More sadness, as I knew later that afternoon that I was beginning to miscarry my little guy. More sadness came the next day, with our E.R visit and then delivering him. He was tinier than you can imagine, and so perfectly formed. All ten toes, fingers, eyes, mouth, nose...and his little boy part, making naming him so much easier. I am thankful that I got to hold him and see him, and although the tears still well up now, my heart has had lots of healing these past months, and I know it will continue to heal each day. God truly has been good to me, and I say that without hesitation.

So, as I write today, on the 8th month anniversary of the last time seeing my T.R. still living, I am very excited to tell you that we are expecting again. It is the little news that I wanted to share that has been growing inside of me. I am past the 12 week wait, where the most dangerous part of losing a baby comes, but still proceed with hesitation because I have been here before. I am due in early January, and although I have so many reservations with this pregnancy, I am in love with the little sprout growing inside of me. I heard the heartbeat again yesterday, always reassuring, and am counting down the days until my next appointment where I can hear it again.

T.R. has been a blessing in my life. I miss him completely, and often wonder what life would be like if he were here, and how it would have been wonderful for my little girls to have a little brother here on earth. Someday we will meet him, I do know.

So, that is the news. And, if you were hoping for a winter session in January, it will have to be postponed! :) Lots of rambling here today, hope it didn't bore you too much!