5 Years Old

Today is Bean's birthday. 5 years old. 5 years ago she entered this world with all of her personality already beaming; I just didn't realize then how much of her personality was shining through. She doesn't like change, and didn't then either. I think that is why she refused to be born the way God intended...she didn't want to leave her comfy home. That is her today. Ask her to change anything, and she will immediately become sad, frustrated, mad. 5 years ago, she entered this world rather loudly. My husband jinxed us within the first 12 hours saying, "She hasn't made a peep!" That was the calm before the storm. She then proceeded to cry from day 2 through 4 months old...not all day long, but an enormous chunk...just ask anyone that was around. One of my brother's admitted to cringing when he saw us pull in their driveway because he knew Beanie would cry...and for a long time. 5 years ago...so hard to believe. I remember it all so vividly, and want to make a post recalling that day, for one day my little girl may just want to read or hear about her birthday once again!

On March 29th 2004, I was supposed to be induced. I got up early to be sure to look "pretty" for labor. I wanted my hair to look good, my make-up, contacts...I know...a little vain, huh? Well, that didn't happen. I call these little things in life God's jokes to remind me I am not the one in control...at all. While I was in the shower that morning, my water broke. I wasn't completely sure since the water was running, so I called Tom. He came in and suggested shutting the shower off. Sure enough, another large gush and I knew it was my water that had broken. It wasn't the slow trickle kind, it was continuous gushes. So needless to say, my hair was crazy, no make-up, no contacts, and I arrived at the hospital with a towel between my legs. I refused the wheel chair and insisted that I could make it on my own. Waddle away I went.

Labor didn't progress at all. Induction medicines were used, and Beanie's heartbeat dropped low. Oxygen mask, flip flopping positions were the name of the game that day. I requested an epidural, and it stunk. Well, I continued to have sharp pains, and I was hoping for none at all. Tough stuff, that didn't work for me either! Dilation was slow, and eventually stopped at 8. My little Bean wasn't coming out straight and wasn't fitting in where she should. After 21 long hours, I was running a fever, which indicated an infection of some sort, and it was finally determined that I would need a c-section. As crazy as it sounds, I was relieved. The surgery part was scary, but I just needed it to be over...too much pain, too much worry...just get me my baby.

During the surgery, I was very nauseous, and told the anesthesiologist that I was going to puke. He handed Tom a small little spit tub and told me to turn sideways and puke if I needed. I hit the bucket on spot, but happened to have a little more puke than that little bucket, so Tom's shoes were well decorated with my insides. We laugh about it now, but it was pretty disgusting. On March 30th, 2004, at 2:49 a.m. my little Bean was delivered. Boy or Girl? It's a girl! I didn't believe it; I had convinced myself that it was a little boy. What was her name was the next question. Tom and I looked at each other, both with tears streaming down our faces and said her name together...if you want to know her real name, you will need to ask during a session :). When I first held her, my heart was filled with love...a love I never knew before, a love I can't even put into words. Bean and I try to say "I love you more" and I always end up telling her that I love her more than I can even measure and one day she will experience that love for herself.

My first baby. You are five now. You are a complete joy in my life, and I have loved every stage that we have gone through together. I couldn't ask for a better leader in our family...you are paving the path well for your siblings. Your sweet, sensitive, questioning heart melt my own often. I don't deserve to have you as my precious gift from God, but I am so blessed and so glad that God gave you to me...to us. You are a delight to many, and I look forward to watching you continue to grow. I hope you enjoy being 5, even though you just told me that you miss being 4. That change thing for you...I love it!

Happy Birthday sweet girl. You are loved more than you know, by more people than you know!

A few shots from yesterday...

Did I mention that my big 5 year old girl, lost her first tooth yesterday? It has been wiggly loose for a couple of days and she refused to have it pulled...she swallowed it while eating chicken nuggets!

Smooches for my baby...

And who can deny a smooch from the cute little Cakies...she has been so sweet through all of the celebrating for Bean...she is now very excited for her own birthday...two months away!!!

Cakes showing me her tooth...looks like she has lost ALL of her teeth!

Birthday cake with the Birthday Girl!

This last shot is my favorite...it isn't the best in quality per say, but it is the best of the night. She has been telling me for WEEKS that she wanted a surprise party. So I had tried thinking of several different ways we could surprise her. But, she kept mentioning how she wanted it to happen, and my plans weren't going to suit hers. So, she planned her own surprise. She greeted each guest at the door, and once everyone had arrived, she went up to her room and waited for the entire party to hide. Once we were in spots, she would make her waltz from her bedroom for her surprise. This was her reaction...

...we were all just gathered in one room together...and then yelled "Surprise!" when she walked into the doorway. It wasn't quite what she was hoping or planning for. She had wanted us all to physically hide behind furniture, and then jump out. I hadn't understood that in her directions, and the above picture is telling us that we didn't do it right. Needless to say, I didn't make the entire party hide...when there are 22 members in your immediate family, there aren't quite enough hiding spots available.

Off to bed. Cakes is sick...back to back colds...annoying. Last night I was up for about 2.5 hours straight listening to her cough, and running to her room when she cried out in need. The coughing has calmed up there, so I should go take advantage of the peace and catch a few hours before another coughing fit arrives.

Thanks for reminiscing with me, and have a wonderful week!